CALawMama's Blog

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Experiences at the interface of life, law, and motherhood in Cali

Life: if you’re not happy, what’s the point?

I’ve been on a real kick about happiness and fulfillment of purpose lately. Perhaps it has some small bit to do with the fact that I write about tragic car accidents, nursing home abuse/negligence, and personal injury lawsuits for a living. Whatever the case, I can feel that life is precious.

I see it every single day when one of my kids falls and scrapes their knee or elbow. I think of it when I remember my friend’s daughter who fought hard and best leukemia at just 1 year old, or my other friend’s 6 week old who needed and received a heart transplant.

We are humans, we are subject to die at any moment. It may sound morbid, but it’s the truth. And until you fully embrace that fragility, you can’t life your life to your fullest potential. Once you embrace this basic truth, you can begin your real soul searching.

Every person has a calling. I’ve only recently realized that mine was to homeschool my children and write law blogs. I would have never in a million years guessed this trajectory.

When I was in law school, I was set on achieving all those milestones that ensure you get a big law job. I even landed a big law interview. Shit, I had two children during law school and still managed to graduated cum laude, served as a research assistant, and student editor. I did a mock trial and a moot court competition, both while I was pregnant. My plan was to have my kids during school so that it would be easier to focus on my career when I graduated, because I would have had that time with them, and they wouldn’t be in daycare as newborns.

And yet, putting my girls in daycare for 6 hours a day while I studied for the bar exam for 3 months felt like torture on a daily basis. I felt so guilty, and I missed them, and I wondered about what they were doing, all.day.long. Needless to say, it did not work. Something had to change.

So I decided I stay home with them until they were old enough for school. But sending my sweet girl away to the most amazing preschool ever still didn’t feel right. Then homeschool came into our lives, and I discovered my true calling. I never knew such happiness could be possible. Eventhough my children challenge me endlessssssly the special moments we spend together make me euphoric.

But that’s not the end of the story. As any homeschooling parent can tell you, finances can be challenging. Without the ability to work during the day, since you’re with your kids, how can you make income? I had blawged for fun, and even gotten a part time blawg job, but I was at a point where it wasn’t enough. Would I have to work full time to make things work? Then the perfect opportunity came along. It’s as though once I reached the decision about homeschooling, everything fell into place. And things have continued along that path since then.

On an almost final note, probably the most important thing you can do is yay true to yourself. Don’t go looking to others to define your success. Set your own goals and find your own happiness. Staying true to yourself is the key to authentic happiness.

While I haven’t had the chance to actually read the book, I’ve heard wonderful things about the power of positive thinking and optimism. I speak from personal experience when I tell you this is absolutely true. Escape from the cynicism and sarcasm, and see the good in things, build people up instead of putting them down, reflect on your character, and he universe will provide. Life is good babies. Let’s enjoy it while we can!

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Stressed? Be a Kid Again

I recently read an article or some snippet or whatever on facebook, that adult playgrounds are on the rise. I find this incrrredibly ironic, because there is also a movement by some moronic parents to remove play equipment from playgrounds. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as paranoid and helicopteric as they come when it comes to my childrens’ safety, but removing equipment? Come on now.

So anyway, these adult playgrounds. Supposedly they encourage adults to be physically active, and just have fun. I think the legal reasoning behind them is that some parks explicitly state that adults cannot be present without a child, for good reason, of course.

This past weekend when we were at the park with the kids, since we basically live there, I got on the swing next to my 5 yr old, which she LOVES, because she likes to “race” me, to see who can go higher. So anyway, on this particular occasion, I was thinking about how fun it was to be on a swing as a kid. You think you can basically fly, etc. I know my kids love those swings like no other. So then it struck me, adults should basically pretend to be kids and just DGAF. Climbing play structures, going down slides, running in fields, climbing trees, etc. DO IT! You won’t regret it! If you are concerned about what people might think about you, then go when there aren’t other people there (e.g. if it’s freezing or raining there’s almost ZERO chance of kids), or after dark. Just let go and have fun. If you have some friends to hang out with, then play tag. It’s SO fun when you are actually coordinated enough to run fast, over obstacles, etc. Trust me, I know because my kids like to play it all.the.time, and of course I always let them win, but not after making everyone run all over the place.

Also, something I’ve realized about myself personally, is the transformative power of nature. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, drive out to your nearest nature reserve, lake, river, forest, whatever. Just sit in the middle of it and take it all in. If you don’t instantly feel more relaxed or meditative, then I don’t know what. So just go. Bring a picnic in case you get hungry, and maybe some bubbles. Bubbles are always a good idea.

So there you have it, stressed out adults, go to the park and play! Remember, when you were a kid, and life was fun?!

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Chchchchanges

I can’t even remember the last time I blogged here. I have since started up and abandoned other blogs, and currently maintain a homeschool blog. Yeah, a lot has changed.

That being said, I am going to attempt to revive this blog to what I think it could be: a blog dedicated to talking about issues facing mothers who happen to be attorneys, or professionals. Granted, I’m ┬ánot a full time, traditional attorney, but I do work, and so does my attorney husband, and I have three kids, and…

So, I am re-branding this blog to discuss whatever I feel like that has to do with the law, maybe some politics, kids, parenting, stress, California, nature, inspiration, social media, fashion (or at least what I think of it), makeup, etc. essentially an expanded version of my twitter account, you can follow me @CALawMama

I welcome your comments, and look forward to sharing this crazy ride with you!

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